Grief is a process involving a range of reactions and emotions following a loss. It is not easy to describe how it unfolds, as everyone experiences suffering and endings in their own way. Even when facing different losses, the same person may react uniquely to each process.
Although we cannot compare experiences or set benchmarks, grief is typically described in five stages. Proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, these stages offer a starting point for understanding.
1st stage — Denial:
Understanding and accepting the loss becomes difficult. There is a tendency to rationalise the situation and minimise the impact it has and will have on our lives, denying what happened.
2nd stage — Anger:
Anger is directed at those close to us. We may also feel angry with ourselves for not doing things differently, ending up blaming ourselves.
3rd stage — Bargaining:
We begin to understand that our anger does not change what happened, and some calm starts to emerge as we resume our routine.
4th stage — Depression:
A loss also brings extreme tiredness and emotional fragility, wrapped in feelings of sorrow and sadness.
5th stage — Acceptance:
Although sadness and longing may still be present, it becomes possible to start thinking about the future and envisage positive changes. This does not mean complete happiness, but it is the stage when depression lessens or is absent, and we can feel soothing emotions again and become open to change.
It is important to remember that grief is a natural process reflecting how we respond to loss and try to fill a void. In this sense, it is part of emotional recovery and follows painful situations, such as the death of a person or pet, the end of a relationship or the loss of something important.
As this is an individual process, you may feel that nobody understands your pain. If so, seek support from specialist healthcare professionals and learn to cope with the pain of loss so you can continue living.
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